Why is this “holiday” still around? Thanks Hallmark! Thanks so much for keeping it on your wall calendars and hyping it up each year with your variety of ridiculous cards. Valentine’s Day. Haven’t we gals gotten a little bit wiser? Until we’re all on board, men are simply forced to follow the rules.

We all might still dream, but gone are the days of fantasizing how Valentine’s Day will complete our lives. Dream on the other 364 days a year, because that’s when your chances are greater. February 14 is not the day to do it. I’d love to think that both men and women are on the same page. If everyone’s communication were better, and every boy or girl—even kids at this stage—made their significant other feel special enough—I wouldn’t have to blog about it, and no one would leave their home on Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, that is not yet the case, and it’s comes down to me speaking my mind.

I will state it for the record: Valentine’s Day is a holiday that capitalizes on hope and leaves us feeling empty. I happen to be very lucky, and have a warm, supportive husband, and I still hate it! It puts everyone in a bad position. Even my mother living in London feels the obligation to send me a card in America. I truly believe she has better things to do, but the brainwashing has already taken place.

Simply put, one must lower their expectations on this day. One could have the greatest laid plans in the world at the most romantic restaurant in fucking France, but it always ends up in some form of disappointment. We hope it will be the best day of our lives together. But it won’t be!

Perhaps my dislike for this day stems back to my childhood. I had the joy of going to public school in Worcester, Massachusetts, where they insisted on doling out carnations on Valentine’s Day. White, pink, and red. You purchased one flower for a dollar and gave it to whomever you had your latest crush. White symbolized friendship. Pink meant you had a secret admirer. And red meant “I love you.” (We were ten years old, as if we could even grasp the concept of love.) Guess what color flower I got year after year? You guessed it. White. I seethed while my cuter friends collected their baskets of pink and red flowers. I can’t tell you the humiliation I experienced. I seriously hope that these poorly funded schools don’t still do this to these unfortunate kids. Hopefully the universe has progressed in some shape or form.

My last words of advice on the subject is stay home Valentine’s night. No one should ever have to deal with restaurant menu changes, anyway. Suddenly every establishment has a limited menu? You can’t order what you’ve grown to adore on the menu in your favorite restaurant? Why? Just because it’s VALENTINE’S DAY?